“The first couple weeks [of my pregnancy], I was feeling pretty sick, but then leading up to the doctor’s appointment, I’d been feeling better, which, in hindsight I guess wasn’t a good thing,” the reality star, 30, said during a confessional with husband Zach Roloff at her side.
She and the Oregon native, 31, told their family and friends about their pregnancy news when she was two weeks along — then found they had lost the baby during an ultrasound appointment.
“It was all standard,” Zach, who shares son Jackson, 4, and daughter Lilah, 20 months, with his wife, recalled. “They rub the stuff on the belly, the machine gets going and just the tone of the ultrasound tech and the tone of the room kind of shifted, and we realized maybe something’s not right here.”
While the ultrasound tech “couldn’t give away” the miscarriage because “that’s not her job,” Tori noted that the woman apologized before leaving the room. When their doctor entered, she gave them a hug. “[That’s when] we just knew,” Tori tearfully explained.
“Everyone says it’s nothing that I did or we did, it was just [that] this baby wasn’t viable for life, but it’s hard to, like, not wonder what happened on that day,” she continued. “But it is common. It happens to more people than you think, but you just never think it’s gonna happen to you especially after two full term babies and zero complications. I think that’s why it hit us, especially me, so hard.”
The “hardest part” for Tori was “feeling normal again.” As for Zach, he described the struggle to watch Tori “process” the loss.
“I want to support her however I can,” he said. “It’s upsetting to watch her go through something like this. It brings about new empathy. … She had, like, eight weeks of feeling pregnant and now she’s not.”
She shared her miscarriage with her Instagram followers in March, writing, “I’ve honestly never felt loss like I did in that moment. I’ve never felt so sad, angry and scared in a single moment. I had no symptoms of losing [our] sweet angel baby and nothing could have prepared me for hearing our sweet baby was gone.”
Three months later, Tori opened up about the “pretty traumatic” loss to Us Weekly exclusively. “I have two happy, healthy, beautiful kids I get to love on every single day. That’s what I’m trying to remind myself,” she said in June. “I’m still blessed for sure.”
Little People, Big World airs on TLC Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET.